Professor Winkel

INDEPENDENT REVIEW
of

A HAMMIER HORROR DOUBLE BILL 
and

HAMMIER HORROR 2

This is a fully independent review of the books written by Phillip J Alexander, obtained on behalf of the publishers, New Millennium. Should anybody wish to purchase copies, they are available through all good bookstores in the UK.

A Hammier Horror Double Bill
by Phillip J Alexander

“The Curse of the Blood Monster”

This is an immensely funny read presented somewhat like a film script, which is appropriate as it is a general send-up of the film genre and it works very well. It is black humour with lots of tongue-in-cheek sex and violence. The main protagonist, Professor Winkel, who features in both stories, plays the role of a detective of the occult and supernatural.

The settings for the two stories are based on classic Hammer Horror films with remote village in darkest Europe or ancient archaeological sites and temples, suspicious inhabitants, who speak with Cornish accents, woods, mist, buxom ladies, and the baron in the castle on top of the hill where no man dares to go.

In the first story, Professor Winkel is called in when newly-weds Gerald and Alice want to investigate the death of Gerald’s brother. Gerald discovers that there have been 240 deaths where the victims are left as flat as pancakes.

After almost everybody close to Gerald and Alice have been flattened, Professor Winkel’s research has solved the mystery. We find out that the Baron’s daughter was given to a remote tribe of Indians in exchange for his life. After some weird ritual she is able to metamorphose into a giant spider that stuns her victims and sucks out the contents of the bodies, leaving only the skin. Spider-woman wants Gerald as her consort but Professor Winkel discovers that South American water snake venom will defeat the monster and sets off to obtain the venom. He returns just in time to find the villagers storming the castle, which is then blown to bits as Winkel administers the antidote.

“The Curse of the Mummy’s Boy”

The second story is equally comic and involves stiff -upper-lip British Egyptologists in a mummy curse adventure set among ancient tombs. This is full of sexual innuendo with a transvestite son of a high priest and a giant penis artefact. When victims are later found torn apart, it is time to call in Professor Winkel. The now familiar occult doctor solves the mystery after some hilarious, highly imaginative, scenes. There are lots of funny lines and situations in these stories and I believe most people would find the book hugely entertaining. They would make very good film comedies. The writing is of good standard and the style is amenable to easy reading.

 

Hammier Horror 2
by Phillip J Alexander

“The Curse of the Zombies”

This is a witty, amusing and sometimes deliciously gory turn-of-the-century tale of voodoo curses, zombies and other supernatural goings-on in the West Indian island of Haiti and its Scottish namesake, Hightae.

The scene is skilfully set at the beginning with Nosbert’s pledge to bury his father in his birthplace, and while the confusion between the two places is a rather obvious joke, as are most in this book, this very obviousness is part of the tongue-in-cheek approach, and generally it works well.

The author’s eminently readable style, well-constructed plotline and the light-hearted pleasure he clearly got from writing the novel are a winning combination, and the reader can settle back to enjoy what is essentially a good literary laugh from a writer who does not take himself or his genre too seriously, and understands the secret of ham.